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Bob the Overlord’s Blog

I just wandered over to the Writer’s BBS and checked out their current challenges. The one in their Science Fiction forum is called “Villain’s Confessional“. I’ll copy the description here, since posts roll off the BBS after a couple of months, whereas my blog is forever:

This challenge is all about what the bad guy’s up to. It’s fairly standard procedure in a movie to have the villain reveal his plans to the hero, usually when the hero’s in a soon-to-be-fatal predicament.

This challenge is related to that concept. I want you to show what your villain’s plans are: what he hopes to accomplish, how he intends to reach his nefarious goal. Show me his thought processes, his actions, the reactions of his henchmen.

The format is wide open. Diary? Sure. Gloating as the hero awaits his doom? Great. Catholic confessional, as the priest sits and listens with growing horror? Oh yeah, baby.

Word limit shall be 2,000 words. Open now, closed to entries on July 29th, voting to follow.

Here’s my entry.


Bob the Overlord’s Blog
In this for myself since 2004

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

Ah, dawn.

The sun is rising gently over the land. Election volunteers are heading to the polling places.

And so is my army of genetically-enhanced animals. Kangaroos, opossums, wombats, Tasmanian devils. Poised to strike.

All shall fear the rage of the marsupials.

Soon, my army will descend upon the polling places, blocking anyone but me from coming or going, and most especially, from voting. By this evening, my vote will be the only one cast in the entire United States of America. And I shall be President!

Mwa ha ha ha ha.

My plan is perfect. Except for that minor bit about Joe Hero getting hold of the hypnotic animal-training machine, but that’s a moot issue now. After all, the machine needs power to run. It’s not much use to him when he’s trapped in his home, with the power lines cut, and guarded by three hundred of my elite wallaby troops.

He can’t even call the power company, because my troops cut his phone line too. And his cable modem, just for good measure. And stepped on his cell phone. And dropped his PDA out the window.

Everything is perfect. Everything is in place. Soon, the world will be mine.

Mwa ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha.

Posted at 6:27 am


  1. Laptops don’t need wall power.
  2. You forgot about my neighbors’ wireless Internet.
  3. Aren’t you forgetting about absentee ballots?

Comment posted by JoeHero on 11/2/2004 at 6:39 am


Aw, shit.

Comment posted by BobTheOverlord on 11/2/2004 at 6:43 am

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