Covert License

I’ve read four software license agreements in the past three days, and my eyeballs hurt. And what’s scary is, every one of them has typos, grammos, or just general weirdness. Goes to show that the people who write license agreements don’t even read ’em.

Xceed makes some fine software, but I just couldn’t resist poking fun at this clause of their license agreement. (Emphasis mine.)

11. AGREEMENT TERMS

This Agreement is effective until terminated. Licensee may terminate it by destroying the Software, all the Redistributable Files Licensee may have distributed, the documentation and copies thereof. This license will also terminate if Licensee fails to comply with any terms or conditions of this Agreement. Licensee agrees upon such termination to destroy all copies of the Software or return them to Xceed for disposal.

Soooo… if we decide we want to terminate the license, then we have to form a covert ops team, buy a black helicopter with our company’s logo on the side, break into all of our customers’ sites, hack into their computers, and wipe the Redistributables from all their hard drives. (Not just delete — destroy. This calls for a military-grade file-wipe utility.)

I’m not a lawyer, but I suspect there’s a chance this covert-ops scenario might raise some legal concerns. Not least of which being that breaking into our customers’ premises and deleting their files might well violate our own software’s license agreement. (There are practical concerns, as well — for example, our current building doesn’t have a helicopter landing pad. And who would make up the covert-ops team? Development? Client Support? Marketing?)

What’s really interesting is that, if the license gets terminated because we fail to comply with any of the terms of the Agreement, then we only have to destroy the Software, not the already-distributed Redistributable Files. (Nor the documentation, for that matter.) So, if we terminate the License but fail to send out a covert ops team, then we’re violating the terms of the License… so the License terminates, and the covert-ops team is no longer required.

So… I clicked “Agree”.

JophusCon and aftermath

The weekend off was good, the roleplaying was good (Jon was playtesting part of this year’s Novus Ordo Seclorum event for GenCon). I stayed up too late multiple times, which isn’t unusual, but other people were at least partially responsible for me being up too late, which is unusual. I slept in a few times, which is very unusual (usually when I stay up until 3:00, I still wake up at 7 or 8). Stayed with Jon and Darcy, and their two tenured cats, plus two new as-yet-unnamed kittens. Also saw my parents, and went out to eat with everyone but the cats, twice — once to Emil’s (Friday), and once to the Brown Bottle (Saturday) to celebrate Jon’s birthday a little early. We also stopped by Prairie Lights while we were in Iowa City, before heading back to C.R. for the Donutland engagement.

On our way walking to and from Prairie Lights, we heard a band that was playing in the ped mall, and they actually sounded pretty good. Somewhere in the hair/alternative continuum. I didn’t get close enough to see who they were, and a bit of spot research later (looking in the Gazette’s Weekend section) didn’t even mention that someone was playing. I should probably e-mail Mom about checking the Press-Citizen. Thought about calling radio stations; they’d probably be able to find out, but I wouldn’t actually know which radio station to call these days.

(Hey, I gotta go on a spur-of-the-moment crusade every now and then. I think the last one was the purple earrings, back in 1995, and I had a cheerleading/chauffeur section on that one.)

Showed Jon the latest version of Monkey. We discussed the next version, which probably will need to be Web-based for ease of beta testing. I also got called upon to troubleshoot their printer (Darcy was actually the one who found the fix) and to help install a second hard drive and a CD burner in their computer (worked flawlessly on the first try — yay me!)

Got back in town around 5:30 last night, and did a little bit of catching up (finished my portion of my employee review, and wrote up some preliminary notes for presenting the project’s Lessons Learned to the full team).

It was cool out this morning, so I did the mowing. Now I really need to get moving and get ready for work, and go in to see see how much things have stacked up. I was only gone a day, but this project moves fast some days…

“A body on vacation tends to remain on vacation unless acted upon by an outside force.” — Carol Reichel

Whee!

Many sources of joy:

  • We’re done moving out of the apartment! I got the last load of stuff out on Sunday (most of it is still in my car — we’ve run out of places in the house to unload it into, plus I’m tired of unpacking cars by now), and Jennie got the cleaning done this afternoon. We are done. Keys turned in and everything. Major milestone. Much rejoicing.

    Kinda makes the whole “we have a house” thing seem a little more solid. Not only do we have a house, and not only do we live here, and not only do our cats live here — our stuff lives here now, too. All 3.5 million metric tons of it.

    Many, many thanks go out to everyone who helped us move — Alison and company, Laura, Kent and company, Lina, Solomon, Jeff, and Anita (did I forget anyone?) Thanks to Sam for the help running the cable / network through the walls (update: no, I don’t have the faceplates screwed in yet). And to Sidney, thanks a million for all the boxes!

    We’ve still got the storage garage to clean out, but that’s much less rent than the apartment, so we’ll live if we don’t get that done this month. But I still need to see if I can shanghai another van, lest we let the issue stagnate (as we are wont to do).

    Wow. Fancy words. Go me.
     

  • I got a GMail account! Thanks, Erica! *hugs*

    And, uh, I’m supposed to pay homage to the Big Giant Head.

    Yeah.

    Alas, GMail requires usernames to be at least six characters, so I couldn’t do my usual “ip255@” address. Nor could I do “joe@” (man, I was really looking forward to that — denial springs eternal, I guess). “joewhite”, “joe.white”, and “jawhite” were taken as well. Man.

    But my next choice (no, I’m not posting it online for the spambots to harvest — what are you, crazy? I’ve got a perfectly good contact form which, by the way, now forwards to my GMail) was wide open. And now I’ve got a GMail account. Hehehe. (Mwa ha ha ha.)

    My only gripe so far: Where’s the Google Messenger to tell me when I have new mail?
     

  • Going to C.R. this weekend. Hanging out with my brother and friends, and my parents. Visiting the old haunts (Emil’s and Donutland for sure — sadly, I hear that Taco Kid is no more, even in its second incarnation in a Chinese place). And doing some roleplaying. Man, I haven’t roleplayed in I don’t know how long. (Alison needs to hurry up and graduate, so we can set up our church roleplaying league.)
     
  • My bumper sticker just shipped! Though alas, the 3-to-10-day shipping probably won’t get it here before I head back to C.R. Sigh. It’s okay, I’m still looking forward to having RotM on my car.

    A few other people have already shown an interest in the bumper sticker. I’ll be curious to see how viral a meme this turns out to be.